Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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