did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
