Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
