you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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