I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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