Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
