Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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