Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
