hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
what is it with giant penises always finding me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
