there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
