So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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