I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
