Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize