Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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