I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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