This is not my ceiling
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize