We named our party play list daddy issues
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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