last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
