Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
