I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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