He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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