I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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