I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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