I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
