Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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