i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
