Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
