Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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