White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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