the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
