IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I love you. Go after that dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
