She said her name was "party"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why is there bacon in the couch?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
