And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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