im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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