You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
