she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
