My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
