It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Say something about gay babies.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you didnt know i had herpes?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
