Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
