did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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