I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
