I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Randomize
