Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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