You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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