She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
