i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
