where am i from again
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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