i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
