How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
