do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
