the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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