Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
