would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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