And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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