i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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