end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
