We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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