i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
