$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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