my sisters under your porch take her home
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I need a beard to bite.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
